As a "Millennial" I am constantly being pulled between 'working myself into an early grave' in order to have that 'New Home' and 'Sporty Car' Or being relaxed with my income, enjoying life with travel and friends while building up my own business. When I started my business I was given the regular doubt speech, but among some of those closest to me I received the most negative comments backed with "But will you be able to buy a home soon while starting a new business" or "Won't you want to get married soon", and my personal favourite comment-"When are you having kids"(as if life is a grocery list you just check off; everyone having the same one). For the record putting so much pressure on another person in this sense doesn't help their mental health. For the longest time and still occasionally today I do get 'sad' from time to time because I don't own my own home yet, am not married and have zero kids. Many of those around me do-at least one of those 3 steps. I often find myself resenting my partner because realistically we aren't anywhere close to being able to afford a home( these days who can), and marriage isn't an option anytime soon. I feel the pressure hard and become overwhelmed with emotions thinking about the why's. Why can't we afford owning? Why can't we get married? After hours and sometimes days of angry hibernating(break downs and emotional day long crying episodes) I have come to the realization( still struggle with this) that because I don't own and because we aren't married or have an responsibilities of kids, we have something people only dream of possessing again- Freedom.
We can go on Vacation basically whenever we desire. We don't have the added expense of kids or a Mortgage or payment plans. Yes we are working slowly towards paying off debt but we are doing it in a way that 3-4 times a year we can afford to go away. I've come to realize material possession is great, but buying experiences is priceless. I can work a job to pay off bills, expenses, debt, while having that freedom to run and grow my business. I spend countless hours in a day with my dog while reading literature I adore. I can do the things a job 9-5 would not allow you to do. Yes one day I wish to expand my other passions into 'work' but I'd rather hold off on that passion job until the right one comes along. I am not afraid to pay my dues, and please understand just because I don't work 9-5 doesn't mean I don't work hard. Pretty things are nice, but my mental health has improved knowing that I have Freedom. I have something people only get back when their retired. I have something I should at age 26. I have time and whether you agree or not, I truly believe that my time to buy a home and to get married will come when its right for me. Maybe one day I will find something 9-5 that drives my soul and is more then a way to 'pay the bills', but until then I run a pretty successful new business. I read a lot. I plan parties. I travel and see places individuals only see on social media accounts. I have time. I have love. I have the one thing people end relationships for- I have my freedom. Defined differently for everyone. For me it's about doing what I would like when I can. I have myself.
Kinga Ulazka, Owner Ela's Fleur
Dog mom to Gibson
Friend
Daughter
Partner
Writer